Los Angeles – Preliminary reports indicate pop star Michael Jackson possessed what can only be called “an enormous cock,” according to unnamed sources within the Los Angeles County Coroner’s office. TMZ first broke the story of Jackson’s Johnson when founder Harvey Levin noticed an unusually large package of embalming fluid being eased in the back door of the facility where the King of Pop was stored.
“There were no other bodies there at the time,” said the gossip monger, “so all that fluid had to go somewhere.” Shortly thereafter, several women in the coroner’s office reportedly fainted, and when paramedics entered the building, Levin followed disguised as a bag of medical waste. “It was huge,” he said, “and I know something about giant dicks.”
According to the as-of-yet unreleased report, however, the size of the star’s testicles is believed to be “fairly typical for a fifty year-old white male.” Sources close to the family would neither confirm nor deny the report, but plans are reportedly in the works for a public viewing of the star’s genitalia. Tickets go on sale August 1.
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