Los Angeles - As the world stumbles to come to the aid of earthquake victims in Haiti, the poorest island nation in the western hemisphere, self-proclaimed music prodigy Kanye West has tried to put it all in cosmic perspective. "I mean, I've tried to understand this s**t, first Katrina, now this." Before making this apocryphal statement, West and his associates did some research to see if there was any way rich white people could have caused the earthquake.
"You know the military has the technology, they got a earthquake bomb or earthquake button," claims Dig Dug Dee, a spokesman for West, "go ahead an' google it if you don't belive me." After laughing for about five minutes, Pentagon spokesperson, James Whiteman, told us of other misconceived notions. "In the 60s, the Russians thought we had a 'sex bomb', in the 80s, the Japs thought we had a 'lazy bomb'. Even the Iraqis though we had a 'gay bomb' because 'Will & Grace' was so popular over there."
When asked to expound on the French theme, West drew incoherent parallels. "New Orleans is French, France controlled Haiti, the French invented dark chocolate. Maybe God is saying, 'Don't be what you ain't'." God was not available to be interviewd for this article, but an anonymous source revealed that He does not hate black people. "We have lots of blacks workin' for us; they're hard workers." Kanye West has seen his share of controversy. In 2005, he told a live television audience that then President Bush hated black people. Last year, West stormed the stage at the MTV music awards. The son of God, JC, thinks West is overcompensating for his mediocre talent. "His beats ain't s**t. We call him Dr. Dre Light up here, or the poor man's Jay Z. Make some ass kickin' music, then maybe you can go around tellin' everybody who my dad hates, but until then shut the f**k up!"
jackie k makes this comment
Thursday, 11 February 2010
very funny
Seriously. Very funny.
I should know. i am a sewer cleaner.
Steve makes this comment
Thursday, 11 February 2010