After installing the largest television screen in the world hovering over the field at Dallas’ new stadium, owner Jerry Jones revealed its accompanying remote control to the world.Measuring 13' x 8', it will be controlled solely by Jones who will spend the game from the comfort of his luxury suite jumping up and down on the enormous buttons.
When asked if the channel would be changed during time outs Jones responded, “It’s my TV; if I want to watch golf during the first quarter break, then everyone in the stadium will have to suffer through a blown-up 135 foot Tiger Woods staring down a putt.”
When asked if that would affect the teams support in the stands he responded, “Are you kidding me? I’m Jerry Jones. Those people adore me and they adore the Cowboys. Besides, those people in the stands will be so overwhelmed with stimuli and carbohydrates that they won’t even know they’re missing anything.”
The screen has come under scrutiny recently since punts tend to hit the bottom of the screen which sits too low and will affect the outcome of some games.
“Televison rules. Everything else is secondary, including football.”
“If anybody even thinks about making that screen smaller, they are hurting America’s Team and therefore are clearly not patriots. They should be arrested for treason. Now get up here and help me pause this episode of Brooke Knows Best. This button always sticks."
Zevida makes this comment
Tuesday, 16 February 2010