The Bunyon - Satire News

U.S. District Judge Denny Chin has sentenced "Evil" Madoff to 150 years in prison, but it will be Zombie Madoff that will have to finish the rest of that sentence. With 11 counts to be served consecutively, Madoff, now 71 and stripped of his 67 billion dollar luxurious lifestyle is almost guaranteed death while imprisoned.

Chin had this to say - "It has been determined that in order for the victims of this heinous crime to receive the justice they so greatly deserve, we must extend the felon's life and thus, his punishment, to an as-of-yet undetermined, undead period of time."

With the shocking news of the King of Pop's sudden and unfortunate death, millions of fans and supporters immediately took to the internet, firing up blogs and social networking sites to discuss the legendary pop icon, whose music they had grown up listening to. The most loyal supporters paid their tribute by sharing Jackson's music with netizens who were eager to download all of those timeless songs they had loved so much, yet couldn't quite remember the names of anymore.

"We'd like to take this moment to remember Michael's songs. Because only a few of us actually recall the lyrics to any of them now," said one downloader.

The Interweb – In the ongoing war between the social networking sites, forces loyal to Facebook pounded Twitter again today with the largest virtual barrage yet in the site’s battle against the Twits. In the fiercest fighting to date, Twitterers were defriended at an unprecedented rate and locked out of popular applications like Send-a-Hug and What-Kind-of-Herpes-Are-You?

Starve a fever, feed a cold, sweat out a flu? That's what researchers are predicting as the key to a vaccine for the H1N1 virus, also known as swine flu. None other than conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh has volunteered to donate a critical organic byproduct: his sweat, to be processed into an injectible serum.