The nation was transfixed yesterday when Meghan McCain came untethered and floated into the atmosphere with what many believed was a six year-old boy huddled in the crawlspace between her giant bosoms. Millions watched on television as the blogger reached speeds of thirty miles an hour and a height of several thousand feet, aided by the hot air from her incessant chatter and her humungous, helium-filled breasts.
The father of the boy frantically called the FAA for assistance in tracking the Republican pundit and daughter of former Presidential candidate, John McCain, fearing his son would be crushed between the right-wing melons. Television coverage was wall-to-wall as authorities scrambled to ascertain how long a human being could survive in such a hostile environment.
The previous record was just under an hour by her last surviving boyfriend, who wished to remain anonymous for obvious reasons. “I could go thirty, maybe forty minutes in there no problem, but only if I kept her mouth plugged. Once she starts whining, forget about it. You’re done.” Once authorities realized the boy was actually on the ground hiding in his parents’ attic, President Obama authorized F-16s to shoot her down, and the nation breathed a huge sigh of relief as tragedy was averted.
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