Hollywood – Citing irreconcilable differences, the breasts of Pamela Anderson filed for dissolution of their union with the actress today in Los Angeles County Superior Court and announced they will seek sole custody of her vagina. “The pair has been estranged for several months, and wish to free themselves of the restrictive ties which bind them so closely to the actress,” said the teats’ attorney, Gloria Allred. “And it’s just so hot and sticky in there, not to mention that retard Kid Rock treating them like speed bags.”
A spokesman for the actress expressed udder shock the boobs would make such a move or move at all, for that matter. “Pam is hoping to work something out, and then work it back in, and then work it out, and then work it back in, and keep it up until the happy ending. It’s worked well for her in the past.”
Both parties expressed a desire to retain custody of the actress’ vajayjay, which was in for its ninety-day rotation and unavailable for comment, but experts say the punani holds enormous power and will ultimately be at the center of any action.
Said one spokesperson, “I mean, it would be like a day without sunshine, if sunshine was prone to yeast infections.”
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